KEEPING MARITAL PEACE ON THE HOME FRONT
Maybe this isn't the ideal time in life for me to be giving marital advice since, as most people know, I'm now a widow.
It's hard to write those words and even harder to say them, but truth is truth and facts are facts and that's my status.
However, in spite of the fact that I'm no longer a wife, I was asked recently to share some advice on how to have a happy marriage, which I enjoyed for 36, nearly 37, years.
Probably a bona fide, certified "expert" would disagree with what I shall say here, but I'm a subscriber to the "proof is in the pudding" school of thought. The years Ed and I had together were as good as life gets, so here goes.
I've observed that in articles on marriage, three-fourths of the time the alleged authority will advise a couple to make sure everything is 50-50 in the arrangement.
"Be willing to give over to his/her side at least half the time," Expert says.
"And always tell him when you're wrong."
Those words are easy-come, easy-go.
For those of you about to enter the blissful bonds of matrimony, I'd like to point out that there's another point of view.
Marriage is a two-way street and the scales don't always balance evenly.
Also, consider this comment from my longtime friend Freddy Burton who some time back was categorizing his life with wife Brenda: "I can be right or I can be happy."
Then he added: "And I choose to be happy."
The Burtons have been married for 47 years. I'd call Freddy a smart man.
Freddy and my late spouse had similar philosophies on how to keep the happy home fires burning.
Someone once asked Ed how the two of us managed to get along so well.
"Oh, that's easy," he said. "She likes to have her own way and I let her."
I don't remember the author's name, but someone wrote a book along this line that was titled "If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy."
You don't have to think about that much to get the message.
Every time I read a so-called authority's "wisdom" regarding marriage, I always wonder what kind of mate (if any) he/she left at home.
On a similar vein, it reminds me of the time, as a young mother, I heard my pediatrician say I should begin potty-training my daughter.
I thought I had misunderstood. "What did you say?"
He repeated the instruction.
"Are you kidding?" I replied.
"Of course not," the esteemed physician replied. "It's time.
"Dr. -----," I said, "have you forgotten she's only six months old?"
"Oh, you can begin training babies at that age," he insisted.
"It's the best time," he added.
I hesitated only briefly before picking up my purse, diaper bag and child and politely made my departure.
Later, I found out the man was childless. He had never even been married.
To cut to the chase, we switched to a REAL doctor who had had experience with REAL children.
I heard this story about a group of men who had just arrived in heaven. They were given this instruction:
"Now those of you who were henpecked should stand on the left side and those who weren't should stand on the right."
When the group took their places, one man found himself standing all alone on the right side.
"Why are you over here?" he was asked.
"Because this is where my wife told me to stand," he answered.
Who could add anything to that.
Lynda Hollenbeck is senior editor of The Saline Courier.
Marjorie M. Anderson, 90 of Malvern, died Sunday morning, Aug. 26, at Hot Spring County Medical Center.
She was born in Prescott on March 16, 1922, to the late Fred Anderson and Velma Riggan Anderson.
Reared and receiving her early education in Prescott, she graduated from Henderson State Teachers College with a Bachelor of Science in Education degree.
A longtime resident of Malvern, she taught in the Malvern Public School System for more than 30 years, where she was a sponsor for the Future Business Leaders of America.Â Miss Anderson was a member of First Presbyterian Church of Malvern.
â€¨Bernice Hunter Gifford passed away on Aug. 23. She was born Dec. 11, 1916.
She was born in Centerville, Mo., to Stella Miner Hunter and Ernest M. Hunter. Â She resided in Gideon, Mo., from 1938 to 2003.
She was a member of Fox Ridge Retirement Community in Bryant from 2003 until her death.
Bernice accepted Christ as her Savior when she was 9 years old and was active in her home church.
She was united in marriage in 1938 to John W. Gifford and they spent most of their married life in Gideon, Mo. They celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary in 2008 prior to Mr. Gifford's death.