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DUKE: Reflecting on post-winter blues |
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Tuesday, 13 May 2008 |
Is it strange to feel blue in this season of green? The season of rebirth — flowers blooming, birds chirping.
I always hear people talk of the winter blues, but I’m afraid that I have a case of the spring sorrows. For a variety of reasons, I suppose.
I’m not running in a race in my near future, for one. A co-worker suggested one day that I must be a glutton for punishment. Seated at my desk, I had reached down to pick up a pen I had dropped. As I was resuming my seated position, I complained of achy muscles because of a strength training class I’ve been taking.
“Well, it’s good for me,” I explained.
“Yeah, but you’re still running, too, aren’t you?” the co-worker asked.
True, but any running expert will tell you it’s good to change your workout routines and incorporate strength exercises to gain the optimal results. Rest is important, too. And I do take breaks. That particular week, I had only run once or twice.
With my recent good finishes in the Little Rock Half Marathon and a shorter race in Jonesboro, I’d been feeling gratified with the strides I’ve made in this new sport — new to me, anyway.
I’ve been checking the statewide running calendar. There are races, but they’re either too far away or on weekends that I’m obligated to work or family.
Maybe I am a glutton for punishment, but I enjoy training for races. It releases endorphins in my brain, that in turn make me happy. With no such races to train for, I’m running low on the endorphin supply. Sure, I run on a regular basis, but it’s different when you’re doing it with a finish line in mind.
This, too, shall pass. Time will go by and the next race will be here. But for now, not planning for a race has put a cramp in my motivation.
Another reason I’m blue is that last week, I completed my required course work for my master’s degree in journalism. I do feel a sense of accomplishment and relief, but I keep thinking about the fact that I’ll no longer be in the classroom, sitting among fellow grad students to engage in friendly debate.
For the past two years, I’ve spent at least two nights a week in a graduate-level seminar class. From learning how to write effective editorials to discovering how the government and press have propagandized war all the way back to the Spanish-American War — I’ve studied it all.
At least, I hope. That’s just it, though — having to read tons of scholarly articles and journalism-related books has kept me abreast to the trends of this profession. There is so much more to know, and I’m afraid without that pressure from professors, I’ll lack the self-motivation to keep learning.
Hopefully, I’ll surprise myself. I’ll check back in 10 years.
I’m not completely finished with graduate school. I still have to do my thesis before I have the diploma in hand. The plan was to start on the research project last summer. I was to take one class in the summer and one in the fall as opposed to my usual two classes so that I would have time to devote to my research. I did take the classes, but married life, buying a house and changing jobs got in the way of data collection and analysis.
After the hubby and I celebrate his birthday and our first anniversary in St. Louis at the end of this month, it’s research project all the way.
I should be thrilled that I’ve completed the 30 hours of class work and that I’ve maintained a 4.0, but I’ll miss the classmates and professors I leave behind. The silver lining is that I’ve developed irreplaceable contacts. I trust they will be to my benefit someday.
OK, so maybe things aren’t as blue for me as I may feel. My selfish sorrows are nothing compared to the devastation people in this county and around the world are facing because of tornadoes, cyclones and other natural disasters. I think about all the families who’ve lost loved ones in this never-ending war in the Middle East and other loved ones who wait at home for their soldiers’ return.
It’s Mother’s Day today, and I’m thankful I still have a mother and grandmothers to honor and be with on the special day.
There’s always time to run and time to learn. It’s time for me to snap out of this temporary funk and enjoy what is.
Jillian Duke is a staff writer for the Courier. Her column appears periodically. Any opinions expressed are those of the writer.
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