The words “I’m sorry” are some of the strongest in our language. If delivered with sincerity, they can nearly erase any wrong that has come before it. I should know. As a married man of a whopping 2 ½ years, I have used those words more often than I should.
But lately, the cathartic value of the apology has lost its bite. People apologize because they are supposed to, because society demands it, or at least a few influential people in the media.
Sometimes “sorry” just doesn’t cut it, especially if the person doesn’t accept it. Once in high school band, I was walking in from a drum session while the rest of the band was rehearsing the popular tune “Sleigh Ride.” Since we were not playing our instruments at the time, I decided to improvise a whip crack. At the appropriate moment, I screamed out, “BAM!” which freaked out everyone, including the band director. He stopped rehearsal immediately.
“What was that?!”
“Sorry.”
“No. If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.”
I thought about that for a second. Although I didn’t completely agree with him, he had a point. If hadn’t have done it, there would be nothing to be sorry for, but now we are getting into a chicken-and-egg argument.
Which brings me to Tiger Woods … and Mark McGwire … and Tony Kornheiser. All are related to sports in some way, and all have felt the need to apologize for something or other in the past few weeks. Some were demanded to do so while another felt compelled by his own accord. All had something to gain by saying those fateful words, but none of them have felt the true vindication that a real apology should give.
The most famous of these is Woods. After the worst Thanksgiving ever, Woods’ private life began to unravel as numerous women came out of the woodwork to detail their liaisons with him while his wife and children were unaware. Woods, probably the best golfer in the world, has always been able to control the situation he was in, but now he was drowning.
A week ago, Woods decided to hold a press conference in which a statement would be given but no questions would be asked by anyone in the media. A 13-minute, fairly detailed and well thought out mea culpa was recited by Woods, who rarely shows emotions. Because of the preciseness of his words, and the fact that he typed out his apology ahead of time, the sharks began to circle.
He was too stiff. He read every word. He didn’t give us something from his heart. He didn’t answer any questions. Never mind that a large percentage of people didn’t even feel like they were entitled to an apology in the first place. Now that he did it, they were allowed to dissect it and make it seem worse than if he had said nothing.
The entertainment industry has this down to a science. Tiger should have gone on Oprah, bared his soul, cried a few tears and given out some cars to screaming ladies. But in sports, things are different. We are owed something, I guess.
Mark McGwire’s was worse. The man who was accused of steroid use and said nothing to Congress years ago wanted to get back into baseball. The only way to do that was to talk about the allegations against him, which everyone knew were true.
He was interviewed and came clean — almost. He admitted to steroid use, although he claimed it didn’t help his performance. That was a no-no.
The point is, he had faded away. No one was talking about him anymore. No one cared. The second that he came clean about his drug use, the opportunity arose to rip into him again. Keeping his mouth shut was actually a better tactic. Now the wounds were fresh again. Of course you could say that to Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds, who have both denied steroid use and who are falling further and further down the rabbit hole of obscurity. Seems like a no-win situation.
Finally, Tony Kornheiser, the cranky, funny sports talker on ESPN’s immensely popular show “Pardon The Interruption” and star of his own regional radio talk show was recently suspended for comments he made on his radio show about ESPN anchor Hannah Storm.
I heard the comments about Storm. I chuckled. I thought absolutely nothing of it. He always prefaced everything by pointing out what a good anchor she is. He even said, “I probably shouldn’t say this” before launching into a tirade about Storm looking like “a Holden Caulfield fantasy.”
ESPN suspended him from his TV gig, and he apologized to Storm, who didn’t seem to care, and to the public, who rallied around him — except for those who already hate him for what he did to Monday Night Football.
The point is, he didn’t need to apologize for that. Woods didn’t need to apologize. McGwire might have needed to, but he might be in a better place now if he didn’t. “Sorry” is not the get out of jail free card that it used to be. Not just in sports, but in every part of public life. Just ask John Edwards … or Mark Sanford … or Ellot Spitzer … or Charlie Sheen …
Richard Duke is News Editor at the Courier. This column represents his opinion and does not represent the views of the newspaper. His column appears on Fridays.
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