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SHEARON: Off the cuff comments don't need name |
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Wednesday, 03 October 2007 |
 Robert Shearon
The editor had a column, and the column had a name. I forget what it was now, but I recall it was fairly appropriate for the no-holds-barred type of commentary she pursued.
Part of my job was to write a weekly column, which I found a bit daunting, but I did it. Since her column had a name, she said I needed to name my column
Without much thought, I said, “Let’s call it ‘Off the Cuff.’ ”
So, for 16 of the following 20 years (with time off to pursue other interests) my weekly column appeared under the Off the Cuff banner in three different newspapers.
It almost disappeared once during that period when I went to work at a newspaper that was owned by a wealthy delta planter, who had read some of my previous work and was afraid to let me write a column.
That lasted a couple of months. Then I started writing columns, the co-owner, who was also editor, started running them and nothing else was ever said.
My idols at that time were Mike Royko and Bob Greene, who simply ran their columns under their names. At my next job, I decided I’d do that. The publisher asked me what I wanted to name my column, and I gave a short speech about how I thought it would look more professional not to name my column.
The publisher gave me a funny look and told me that his column had a name, and he thought it was plenty professional. Oops. “Off the Cuff,” I said. And I was stuck with that column name for another 13 years.
I finally ditched the column name when I moved to Benton and went to work for a Little Rock-based newspaper.
I haven’t missed it. I guess it’s okay to name a column, but mostly it seems like a wasted effort.
I’ve written some columns in the past that I probably shouldn’t have. My second or third column was about a mentally ill fellow I encountered walking on the interstate. I wrote down his rantings (he claimed to be Superman and Jesus), and wrote a humor column about it. Not very sympathetic of me. I got a letter signed by the Green Lantern, telling me so. It took me a few years to finally admit that I shouldn’t have made fun of the guy. I’m not a completely bad guy, though. I called around and found out he was listed as a missing person. I told the cops where to find him and he was eventually reunited with his family.
I wrote a column explaining how the superintendent of education in the small delta community was ripping off the taxpayers. This polarized the community along certain lines, and prompted a visit by the police chief.
“You need to start carrying a gun,” he informed me.
This was in the days before you could get a carry permit.
“Won’t I get in trouble if I get caught wandering around with gun?” I asked.
“Robert,” he explained with some exasperation, “I’m the police chief, and I’m telling you to get a gun.”
I had received one death threat, so I agreed, and went down to the local hardware store and bought a pistol.
I thought I was going to have to use it one day, when the guy that had made the death threat walked into my office.
I casually draped my hand over the open drawer where I kept the little five-shot revolver, waiting to see what was about to happen.
To my surprise, he apologized. Told me he learned I had been right all along. And he left. Whew. I eventually got rid of the gun after I realized I didn’t think I could shoot someone with it.
I wrote one column about an institution of higher learning that made so many people mad that I got featured as a bad guy by “7 on Your Side.” I guess they missed the memo about esprit de corps and first amendment rights about freedom of expression. Although every word I wrote was true, I think now that I’m older and wiser (hopefully) I would have let that one pass. I’ve never had much respect for TV news, which is why I mainly just watch the nightly news to catch the weather forecast. Ned Perme does a good forecast.
Not much a theme to this column. I guess it’s pretty much off the cuff.
Robert Shearon is news editor of the Courier. His column appears weekly.
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